Do you find me sadistic?
You know, Kiddo...
...I'd like to believe...
...you're aware enough, even now...
...to know that there's nothing sadistic...
...in my actions.
At this moment...
...this is me...
...at my most masochistic.
Bill.
It's your ba...
Looked dead, didn't I?
Well, I wasn't.
But it wasn't from lack of trying,NI can tell you that.
Actually, Bill's last bulletNput me in a coma -
a coma I was to lie in for four years.
When I woke up, I went on whatNthe movie advertisements refer to as
"a roaring rampage of revenge. "
I roared, and I rampaged,
and I got bloody satisfaction.
I've killed a hell of a lot of peopleNto get to this point,
but I've only one more.
The last one.
The one I'm driving to right now.
The only one left.
And when I arrive at my destination,
I am gonna kill Bill.
The incident that happenedNat the Two Pines Wedding Chapel
that put this whole gory story into motion
has since become legend.
"Massacre at Two Pines. "
That's what the newspapers called it.
The local TVnews called it,
"The El Paso, TexasNWedding Chapel Massacre. "
How it happened, who was there,
how many got killedNand who killed them -
changes depending onNwho's telling the story.
In actual fact, the massacre didn'tNhappen during a wedding at all.
It was a wedding rehearsal.
Now, when we comeNto the part where I say,
"You may kiss the bride,"Nyou may kiss the bride.
But don't stick your tongue in her mouth.
This might be funny to your friends,
but it would be embarrassingNto your parents.
We'll try to restrain ourselves, Reverend.
Y'all got a song?
How 'bout "Love Me Tender"?NI can play that.
- Sure.N- Yeah.
"Love Me Tender" would be great.
Rufus - he's the man.
Rufus, who was thatNthat you used to play for?
Rufus Thomas.
Rufus Thomas.NRufus Thomas.
I was a Drell. I was a Drifter.NI was a Coaster.
I was part of the Gang.NI was a Barkay.
If they come through Texas,NI done played with 'em.
Rufus - he's the man.
- Have I forgotten anything?N- Um...
Oh yes, you forgot, uh,Nthe seating arrangements.
- Thank you, Mother.N- Yes.
Now, the way we normally do this -
we have the bride's side,Nand then we have the groom's side.
But since the brideNain't got nobody comin',
and the groom's gotNfar too many people comin'...
Well, yeah, they're comin'Nall the way from Oklahoma.
Right...
Well, I don't see no problem with...
...the groom's sideNsharing the bride's side.
- Do you, Mother?N- I don't have a problem with that.
But, uh...
Honey, you know, it would be goodNif you had somebody come.
You know, as a sign of good faith?
Well, I don't have anybody...
...except for Tommy and my friends.
- You have no family?N- Well, I'm workin' on changing that.
Mrs. Harmony, we're all the familyNthis little angel's ever gonna need.
I'm not feeling very well,Nand this bitch is starting to piss me off.
So while y'all blather on,NI'm gonna go outside and get some air.
OK. Um, uh, Reverend, sorry, uh...
- She's gonna go out and get some air.N- Yeah. Given her delicate condition...
She just needs a few minutesNto get it together. She'll be OK.
Right...
Hello, Kiddo.
- How did you find me?N- I'm the man.
What are you doin' here?
What am I doin'?
Well...
...moment ago I was playin' my flute.
At this moment...
...I'm lookin' at the most beautiful brideNthese old eyes have ever seen.
- Why are you here?N- Last look.
- Are you gonna be nice?N- I've never been nice in my whole life.
But I'll do my best to be sweet.
Hmm.
I always told you...
...your sweet side is you best side.
I guess that's why you'reNthe only one who's ever seen it.
- So you got a bun in the oven.N- Hmm.
- I'm knocked up.N- Jeez, Louise.
That young man of yours sure doesn'tNbelieve in wasting time, does he?
Have you seen Tommy?
- Big guy in the tux?N- Yes.
Then I saw him.
I like his hair.
You promised you'd be nice.
No, I said I'd do my best.NThat's hardly a promise.
But you're right.
What does your young manNdo for a living?
He owns a used record storeNhere in El Paso.
- Ah. Music lover, eh?N- He's fond of music.
Aren't we all?
And what are you doingNfor a J-O-B these days?
I work in the record store.
Aso.
It all suddenly seems so clear.
- Do you like it?N- Yeah. I like it a lot, smartass.
I get to listen to music all day...
...talk about music all day.NIt's really cool.
It's gonna be a great environmentNfor my little girl to grow up in.
As opposed to jetting around the world,Nkilling human beings,
and being paid vast sums of money?
Precisely.
Well, my old friend...
...to each his own.
However, all cockblockery aside...
I am looking forwardNto meeting your young man.
I happen to be, more or less,Nparticular whom my gal marries.
- You want to come to the wedding?N- Only if I can sit on the bride's side.
You'll find it a bit lonely on my side.
Your side always was a bit lonely.
But I wouldn't sit anywhere else.
You know...
...I had the loveliest dream about you...
Oh, here's Tommy!NCall me Arlene.
- You must be Tommy!N- Uh-huh.
Arlene's told me so much about you.
- Honey, you OK?N- Oh, I'm fine.
Tommy, I'd like you to meet my father.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, this is great!
I'm so glad to meet you, sir... uh, Dad.
The name's Bill.
Well, it's great to meet you... Bill.
- Arlene told me you couldn't make it.N- Surprise.
That's my pop for ya.NAlways full of surprises.
Well, in the surprise department...
...the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
- When did you get in?N- Just now.
- Did you come straight from Australia?N- Of course.
Daddy, I told Tommy that you wereNin Perth mining for silver, and...
...no one could reach you.
Lucky for us all, that's not the case.
So...
What's this all about?NI've heard of wedding rehearsals,
but I don't believe I've ever heard ofNa wedding dress rehearsal before.
We thought,
"Why pay so much money for a dressNyou're only gonna wear once?"
Especially when Arlene looksNso goddamn beautiful in it.
So, I think we're gonna try to getNall the mileage we can out of it.
Isn't it supposed to be bad luckNfor the groom to see the bride
in her wedding dressNbefore the ceremony?
Well, I guess I just believeNin living dangerously.
I know just what you mean.
Son.NSome of us have places to be.
Sure do.
Look, we got to go through this oneNmore time. So, why don't you have a s...
Oh, my God. What am I thinking?NYou should give her away!
Tommy, that's not exactlyNDaddy's cup of tea.
I think Father would beNmuch more comfortable
- sitting with the rest of the guests.N- Hmm. Really?
That's asking a lot.
Oh. OK.NWell, forget it.
But how about we go outNto dinner tonight to celebrate?
Only on the condition thatNI pay for everything.
Deal. We got to do this now.
- Can I watch?N- Absolutely. Have a seat.
- Which is the bride's side?N- Right over here.
Mother, here we go!
Now son, about them vows...
Bill...
- I just want...N- You don't owe me a damn thing.
If he's the man you want...
...then go stand by him.
- Do I look pretty?N- Oh, yes.
Thank you.
What the hell?
No! Bill!
You tellin' me she cut her way throughN88 bodyguards before she got to O-Ren?
Nah, there wasn't really 88 of 'em.
They just called themselvesN"The Crazy 88"
- How come?N- I don't know.
I guess they thought it sounded cool.
Anyhow, they all fellNunder her Hanzo sword.
- She got a Hanzo sword?N- He made one for her.
Didn't he swear a blood oathNto never make another sword?
It would appear he has broken it.
Them Japs sure know howNto hold a grudge, don't they?
Or maybe...
...you just tendNto bring that out in people.
I know this is a ridiculous questionNbefore I ask it,
but you haven't, by any chance,Nkept up with your... swordplay?
I, um...
I pawned that years ago.
You hocked a Hattori Hanzo sword?
Yep.
It was priceless.
Well, not in El Paso, it ain't.
In El Paso, I got me $250 for it.
I'm a bouncer in a titty bar, Bill.
If she wants to fight with me, all she'sNgot to do is come down to the club
and start some shit,Nand we'll be in a fight.
I know we haven't spoken in some time,
and the last time we spokeNwasn't the most pleasant,
but you've got to get overNbeing mad at me,
and start becoming afraid of,
because she is coming,Nand she's coming to kill you.
And unless you accept my assistance,NI have no doubt she will succeed.
I don't dodge guilt, and I don't JewNout of paying my comeuppance.
Can't we just... forget the past?
That woman...
...deserves her revenge.
And...
...we deserve to die.
But then again...
...so does she.
So I guess...
...we'll just see.
Won't we?
Late again.
Budd, can't you tell time?
There ain't nobody in here, man.
- Is that Budd?N- Yeah.
Tell him to getNhis fucking ass back here!
OK.
Budd, Larry'd like a word with ya.
Take a hit.NBe somebody, baby.
You looking for me?
I don't know what car washNyou worked before you came here
that let you stroll in 20 minutes late,Nbut it wasn't owned by me
- and I own a fuckin' car wash.N- Do you want me to leave?
No, I don't want you to leave.NI want you to sit and wait.
Larry...
...there ain't nobody out there, so...
"There's nobodyNout there, Larry. "
What's your point?
- That you're not needed here?N- My point is...
...I'm the bouncer, and thereNain't nobody out there to bounce.
You saying that the reason...
...that you're not doing the job that I'm...
...paying you to do is thatNyou don't have a job to do?
- No...N- Is that what you're saying?
What are you tryingNto convince me of, exactly?
That you're as uselessNas an asshole right here?
Well, guess what, buddy?
I think... you just fucking convinced me.
Let's go to the calendar.
It's calendar time.
Calendar time for Buddy.
- OK. You working tomorrow?N- Yeah.
Mm. No, you're n... You don't even knowNwhat fucking day you work.
Here. You're not working tomorrow.
You're working Wednesday.NHere you are. There you go.
- Workin' Thursday?N- Yeah.
I don't think so.NFriday.
I d... There's your name.
- If you say so.N- There used to be your name. OK?
- Saturday. There used to be your name.N- Oh.
Uh, Monday...
Here. How about that?
Fuckin' with your cash is the only thingNyou kids seem to understand. OK?
Now, I want you to go home till I call you.
Till I call you.
Before you leave, talk to Rocket.NShe's got a job for you to do.
And...
...the hat.
That fuckin' hat.
That fucking...
How many times have I told you,
don't wear that fucking hat here?NHow many?
Customers wear hats.
Well, I'm not the boss of the customers.
I'm the boss of you.NAnd I'm telling you...
...that I want you to keepNthat shit-kicker hat at home.
Yeah. Budd, honey, uh,Nthe toilet is at it again.
There's shitty water all over the floor.
OK... Rocket.
- I'll clean it up.N- Mm-hmm.
How many times
Have you heard someone say,
"If I had his money,
I could do things my way"
But little they know
That it's so hard to find
One rich man in ten
With a satisfied mind
Once I was wading
In fortune and fame
Everything that I dreamed for
To get a start in life's game
Then suddenly it happened
I lost every dime,Nbut I'm richer...
How many times
Have you heard someone say...
Now...
...that gentled you down some, didn't it?
Yep.
Ain't nobody a badass with a doubleNdose of rock salt dug deep in her tits.
Not havin'... tits...
...as fine...
...or as big as yours,
I can't even imagineNhow bad that shit must sting.
Yet...
...I don't want to, neither.
I win.
Ugh! Ugh.
Bill.
Wrong brother, ya hateful bitch.
- Budd.N- Bingo.
And to what do I oweNthis dubious pleasure?
I just caught me the cowgirlNain't never been caught.
- Did you kill her?N- Well, not yet, I ain't.
I shot her full of rock salt.
She's so gentle right now, I couldNperform her coup de grâce with a rock.
Anywho...
Guess what I'm holdin'Nin my hand right now?
What?
A brand spankin'newNHattori Hanzo sword.
And I'm here to tell ya, Elle,
...that's what I call sharp.N- How much?
Oh, that's hard to say,Nbein' that it's... priceless and all.
What's the terms?
You get your bony ass down hereNfirst thing in the morning...
...with a million dollars in folding cash...
...and I'll give you the greatest swordNever made by a man.
Now, how do you like the sound of that?
Sounds like we got a deal.
- One condition.N- What?
She must suffer to her last breath.
Well...
That, Elle darlin'...
...I can pretty muchNdamn well guarantee.
Then I'll see youNin the mornin', millionaire.
All right.
Wakey, wakey.
Eggs and bakey.
I'm done!
Get me outta this hole!
Good.
Whew.
Whoa, look at those eyes.
This bitch is furious.
What did I tell ya?
Is she the cutest littleNblond pussy you ever saw?
Or... is she the cutest littleNblond pussy you ever saw?
I seen better.
You got anything to say?
White women call thisN"the silent treatment. "
And we let 'em think we don't like it.
You grab the feet, I'll get the head.
Hey. Hey. Hey!
Wiggle worm, you see this?
You see it, don't ya?
That's a can of Mace.
Mm-hmm. No.
You're goin' underneathNthe ground tonight.
And... that's all there is to it.
I wanna bury ya.
I was gonna bury ya...
...with this.
But if you're gonnaNact like a horse's ass...
...I'm gonna spray this whole goddamnNcan right in your eyeballs!
I'll burn 'em right outta your fuckin' head.
Then you're gonna be blind...
...and burnin'...
...and buried alive.
Now, what's it gonna be, sister?
That's a wise decision.
This is for breakin' my brother's heart.
Once upon a time...
...in China...
...some believe around the year...
...one double aught-three,
head priest of the White Lotus Clan,NPai Mei, was walking down a road...
...contemplating whatever it is
that a man of Pai Mei'sNinfinite powers would contemplate -
which is another wayNof saying, "Who knows?" -
when a Shaolin monkNappeared on the road,
traveling in the opposite direction.
As the monk and the priestNcrossed paths...
...Pai Mei...
...in a practically unfathomableNdisplay of generosity,
gave the monk the slightest of nods.
The nod...
...was not returned.
Now, was it the intentionNof the Shaolin monk to insult Pai Mei?
Or did he just fail to seeNthe generous social gesture?
The motives of the monkNremain unknown.
What is known...
...were the consequences.
The next morning, Pai MeiNappeared at the Shaolin temple...
...and demandedNof the temple's head abbot
that he offer Pai Mei his neckNto repay the insult.
The abbot, at first,Ntried to console Pai Mei.
Only to find Pai Mei was...
...inconsolable.
So began...
...the Massacre of the Shaolin Temple,Nand all sixty of the monks inside,
at the fists of the White Lotus.
And... so began the legend...
...of Pai Mei's Five-Point-PalmNExploding-Heart Technique.
And what, pray tell,Nis the Five-Point-Palm
- Exploding-Heart Technique?N- Quite simply,
the deadliest blow in all of martial arts.
He hits you with his fingertips...
...at five different pressureNpoints on your body...
...and then lets you walk away.
But once you've taken five steps...
...your heart explodes inside your body...
...and you fall to the floor, dead.
- Did he teach you that?N- No.
He teaches no one the Five-Point-PalmNExploding-Heart Technique.
Now...
...one of the thingsNI've always liked about you...
...Kiddo...
...is you appearNwise beyond your years.
So, allow me to impartNa word to the wise:
Whatever...
...whatever Pai Mei says, obey.
If you flash him, even for an instant,Na defiant eye, he'll pluck it out.
And if you throw anyNAmerican sass his way...
...he'll snap your back and your neckNlike they were twigs.
And that will be the story of you.
He'll accept you as his student.
- What happened to you?N- Nothin'.
- Get in a fight?N- Friendly contest.
Why did he accept me?
Because he's a very, very, very old man.
And like all rotten bastards...
...when they become old,Nthey get lonely.
Which has no effectNon their dispositions,
but it does teach themNthe value of company.
Whew. Oh.
Just seein' thoseNsteps again makes me ache.
You're gonna have a lot of fun
carrying buckets of waterNup and down that fucker.
When will I see you again?
That's the title of my favoriteNsoul song of the seventies.
- What?N- Nothin'.
When he tells me you're done.
When do you think that might be?
That, my dearest,Ndepends entirely on you.
Now remember,Nno sarcasm, no backtalk.
At least not for the first year or so.
You're gonna have to let himNwarm up to you.
He hates Caucasians,Ndespises Americans,
and has nothingNbut contempt for women.
So in your case...Nit might take a little while.
Adiós.
Master...
Your Mandarin is lousy.
It causes my ears discomfort.
You bray like an ass!
You are not to speak unless spoken to.
Is it too much to hope...Nyou understand Cantonese?
I speak Japanese very well...
I didn't ask if you speak Japanese...
I asked if you understand Cantonese?
A little.
You are here to learn the mysteriesNof Kung Fu, not linguistics.
If you can't understand me...
I will communicate with youNlike I would a dog.
When I yell, when I point,Nwhen I beat you with my stick!
Bill is your master, is he not?
Yes, he is.
Your master tells me...Nyou're not entirely unschooled.
What training do you possess?
I am proficient in Tiger-Crane Style,
and I am more than proficient in theNexquisite art of the Samurai sword.
The exquisite art of the Samurai sword.NDon't make me laugh!
Your so-called exquisite art,Nis only fit for...
Japanese fat heads!
Your anger amuses me.NDo you believe you are my match?
No.
Are you aware I kill at will?
Yes.
Is it your wish to die?
No.
Then you must be stupid...
Then you must be stupid... so stupid.
Rise, and let me look at yourNridiculous face.
Rise.
So my pathetic friend...NIs there anything that you can do well?
What's the matter?
Cat got your tongue?
- Oh yes, you speak Japanese.
I despise the Goddamn Japs!
Go to that rack.
Remove the sword.
Let's see how good you really are.
Lf...
...you land a single blow,
I'll bow down and call you master.
From here you can getNan excellent view of my foot.
Your swordsmanship...Nis amateur at best.
Your so-called kung-fu... is really...Nquite pathetic.
I asked you to demonstrate...Nwhat you know... and you did...
Not a goddamn thing!
Let's see your Tiger Crane...Nmatch my Eagle's Claw.
Like all Yankee women...
...all you can do is order in restaurantsNand spend a man's money.
Excruciating... isn't it?
Yes!
If it was my wish...
...I could chop your arm off.
No, please don't!
It's my arm now. I can do what I please.
If you can stop me... I suggest you try.
I can't.
Because you're helpless?
Yes.
Have you ever felt this before?
No.
Compared to me... you're as helplessNas a worm fighting an eagle?
YES!
THAT'S THE BEGINNING!
Is it your wish to possessNthis kind of power?
Yes!
Your training will begin... tomorrow.
Since your arm now belongs to me...
...I want it strong.
Can you do that?
I can, but not that close.
Then you can't do it.
What if your enemy...Nis three inches in front of you...
...What do you do then...
...Curl into a ball...
...or do you put your FIST through him?
Now begin.
It's the wood that shouldNfear your hand...
- not the other way around.
No wonder you can't do it...Nyou acquiesce to defeat...
- before you even begin.
If you want to eat like a dog...
You can live and sleepNoutside like a dog.
If you want to live and sleepNlike a human...
...pick up those sticks.
Come on, you bitch.
OK, Pai Mei.
Here I come.
May I have a glass of water, please?
- So that's a Texas funeral?N- Yep.
I have to give it to ya, Budd.
That's a pretty fucked up way to die.
What's the name on the graveNshe's buried under?
Paula...
...Schultz.
Can I look at the sword?
That's my money right thereNin that red bag, isn't it?
It sure is.
Well then, it's your sword now.
What's that you said?
So this is a Hattori Hanzo sword?
That's a Hanzo sword, all right.
Bill tells me you once hadNone of these of your own.
Yeah, once.
Yeah? How does this oneNcompare to that?
If you're gonna compareNa Hanzo sword...
...you compare itNto every other sword ever made -
wasn't made - by Hattori Hanzo.
Here you go.NWrap your lips around that.
So...
...which "R" are you filled with?
What?
They say...
...the number one killer...
...of old people...
...is retirement.
People got a job to do, they tend to liveNa little bit longer so they can do it.
I've always figured that...
...warriors and their enemies...
...share the same relationship.
So now that you're not gonna haveNto face your enemy no more
on the battlefield...
...which "R" ya filled with?
Relief...
...or regret?
- A little bit of both.N- Horseshit.
I'm sure you do feel a little bit of both.
But I know damn well that you feel one...
...more than you feel the other.
And the question was:NWhich one is it?
Regret.
You know,Nyou gotta hand it to the ol' girl.
I never saw anybody buffalo BillNthe way she buffaloed Bill.
Bill thought she was so damn smart.
And I tried to tell him...
...she was just smart for a blond.
Thanks a bunch.
All right.
Mmm.
I'm sorry, Budd.
That was rude of me, wasn't it?
Budd, I'd like to introduce my friend,Nthe black mamba.
Black mamba, this is Budd.
You know, before I pickedNthat little fella up,
I looked him up on the Internet.
Fascinating creature, the black mamba.
Listen to this:
"In Africa, the saying goes,
"'In the bush, an elephant can kill you,Na leopard can kill you,
"'and a black mamba can kill you.NBut only with the mamba,
"and this has been true in AfricaNsince the dawn of time, is death sure. '
Hence its handle, 'Death Incarnate. "'NPretty cool, huh?
"Lts neurotoxic venom is one ofNnature's most effective poisons,
"acting on the nervous system,Ncausing paralysis.
"The venom of a black mambaNcan kill a human being in four hours
"if, say, bitten on the ankle or the thumb.
"However, a bite to the face or torso
can bring death from paralysisNwithin 20 minutes. "
Now, you should listen to this,N'cause this concerns you.
"The amount of venom that can beNdelivered from a single bite
can be gargantuan. "
You know, I've always likedNthat word, "gargantuan. "
I so rarely have an opportunityNto use it in a sentence.
"If not treated quickly with antivenom,
"ten to 15 milligramsNcan be fatal to human beings.
"However, the black mamba can deliver
as much as 100 to 400 milligramsNof venom from a single bite. "
Now...
...in these last agonizingNminutes of life you have left,
let me answer that questionNyou asked earlier more thoroughly.
Right at this moment...
...the biggest "R" I feel is regret.
Regret that maybeNthe greatest warrior I have ever met
met her end at the handsNof a bushwhackin', scrub,
alkie, piece of shit like you.
That woman deserved better.
Bill...
...I have some tragic news.
Your brother's dead.
I am so sorry, baby.
She put a black mamba in his camper.
I got her, sweetie.NShe's dead.
Let me put it this way:
You ever start feeling sentimental,Ngo to Barstow, California.
When you get here, walk into a floristNand buy a bunch of flowers.
Then you take those flowersNto Huntington Cemetery
on Fuller and Guadalupe, look forNthe headstone marked "Paula Schultz,"
and lay them on the grave.
'Cause you will be standing at the finalNresting place of Beatrix Kiddo.
- Marty Kitrosser?N- Here.
- Melanie Harrhouse?N- Here.
- Beatrix Kiddo?N- Here.
Look... I can be thereNin about four hours.
Do you want me to come over?
No, no, no, no.NYou need me, baby, I'm there.
OK. I'm leaving now.
You go smoke some pot or somethin',NI'll be there soon.
Ugh.
Gross.
Hi-ya!
"To my brother, Budd.NThe only man I ever loved. Bill. "
What's that?
Budd's Hanzo sword.
He said he pawned it.
Guess that makes himNa liar now, don't it?
- Elle?N- Bea.
Somethin' I've alwaysNbeen curious about.
Just between us girls...
...what did you say to Pai MeiNto make him snatch out your eye?
Ow!
I called him a miserable old fool.
Ooh. Bad idea.
Know what I did?
I killed that miserable old fool.
How do you like the fish head,Nyou miserable old fool?
I poisoned his fish heads.
Elle, you treacherous dog.
I - give - you - my - word...
And I told him,
"To me, the wordNof an old fool like you
is worth less than nothing. "
That's right.
I killed your master.
And now I'm gonna kill you, too.
With your own sword, no less.
Which, in the very immediate future,Nwill become my sword.
Bitch...
...you don't have a future.
Fucking bitch!
I'll kill you!NYou're fuckin' dead!
You bitch! You bitch!
I'll fucking kill you, you bitch!
Oh, I'll get you!
I'm gonna...
Where are you?NLemme fuckin' at you!
Where are you?NI'm coming, you fucking bitch!
You're fucking dead!NYou're dead!
Oh... shit!
Like most menNwho never knew their father,
Bill collected father figures.
The first was Esteban Vihaio.
Esteban was a pimpNand a friend of Bill's mother.
He ran a brothel in Acuna, MexicoNfor over 50 years.
His army, the Acuna Boys,
made up of the fatherless offspringNof his whores, ran Acuna.
He ran the Acuna Boys.
Now, at the age of 80, it would beNthis retired gentleman of leisure
who could point me in Bill's direction.
Señor Esteban Vihaio?
Yes.
May I join you?
Only on the conditionNthat you call me Esteban.
- May I join you, Esteban?N- Please.
Americana?
Yes.
I speak a little Spanish, if you prefer.
No, no, no, no.NI prefer English.
I haven't spoken it in a while,
but I would relishNthe opportunity to converse
with such a prettyNcompanion as yourself.
It's my pleasure to be in the companyNof such a fine gentleman as yourself.
I must warn you, young lady...
...I am susceptible to flattery.
How may I be of service to you?
Where's Bill?
Ahh.
You must be Beatrix.
I can see the attraction.
I remember when Bill was onlyNfive years old, I took him to the movies.
It was a movie starring Lana Turner.
The Postman Always Ring Twice,Nwith John Garfields.
And whenever she wouldNappear on the screen,
Bill would begin compulsively toNsuck his thumb to an obscene amount.
And I knew from this very moment,Nthis boy was a fool for blonds.
Mmm.
You know...
...being a fool for a womanNsuch as yourself...
...is always the right thing to do.
If we had met when I wasNback in business...
...you would have beenNmy number one lady.
- Well, I'm flattered.N- You goddamn well better be.
This... I heard you were driving a truck.
My Pussy Wagon died on me.
The Pussy died. Hmm.
Bill shot you in the head, no?
- Yes.N- Hmm.
I would have been much nicer.
I would have just cut your face.
You must forgive me.
Please... you have a drink with me.
Clara!
Coming.
Dos añejo.
Gracias.
What were we talking about?
Bill.
- Where's Bill?N- Where's Bill.
Yeah. Hmm.
Bill is at the Villa Quatro,Non the road to Salina.
I will draw you a map.
Bill is like a son to me.
- Do you know why I help you?N- No.
Because he would want me to.
Now, that I don't believe.
Ahh.
How else is he everNgoing to see you again?
Freeze, Mommy.
Bang, bang! Oh!
Oh! She got us, B.B.
Mommy got us.NOh, I'm dying!
I'm dying.
Fall down, sweetheart.NMommy shot us.
But little did Quickdraw Kiddo knowNthat little B.B. Was only playing possum,
due to the fact thatNshe was impervious to bullets.
I am pervious to bullets, Mommy.
Hey, get back down there.NYou're playing possum.
So, as the smirking killerNadvanced on what she thought
was a bullet-ridden corpse,Nthat's when little B.B. Fired.
Bang, bang!
You're dead, Mommy.NSo die.
Oh!
B.B.
Oh! B. B...
I should've known.
You are... the best.
Oh, Mommy.NDon't die.
I was just playing.
I know.
I told her that you were asleep...
...but that one day you'd wake upNand come back to her.
And she asked me, "If Mommy'sNbeen asleep since I was born,
then how will she know what I look like?"
To which I replied, "BecauseNMommy's been dreaming of you. "
That's what I said.
Did you dream of me?NI dreamed of you.
Every single night, baby.NEvery single night.
I waited a long timeNfor you to wake up, Mommy.
Now, let me look at you.
Oh.
My, my, my,Nwhat a pretty little girl you are.
You're pretty too, Mommy.
Tell Mommy what you saidNwhen I showed you her picture.
Mnh-mnh.
- Come on, shy girl.N- Mnh-mnh.
Come on. You know what you said.
Come on. Tell Mommy.NIt'll make her feel good. Come on.
- Mnh-mnh.N- Yeah. Come on.
I said... I said,
"You're the most beautifulest womanNI ever saw in the whole wide world. "
That's the truth.NThat's what she said.
B.B., don't you think Mommy has theNprettiest hair in the whole wide world?
- Yes, I do.N- Matter of fact, it's better than pretty.
- What's better than pretty?N- Mmm... Gorgeous.
Very good. Gorgeous.NMommy is gorgeous.
Hmm. You know, sweetie,NMommy's kinda mad at Daddy.
Why, Daddy?NWere you being a bad daddy?
I'm afraid I was.NI was a real bad daddy.
Our little girl learned aboutNlife and death the other day.
Wanna tell Mommy aboutNwhat happened to Emilio?
I killed him.
- Emilio was her goldfish.N- Emilio was my goldfiss.
She came running into my room,Nholding the fish in her hand and crying,
"Daddy. Daddy.NEmilio's dead. "
And I said, "Really? That's so sad.
How did he die?"
- And what did you say?N- I stepped on him.
Actually, young lady, the wordsNyou so strategically used were,
"I accidentally stepped on him. "
To which I queried,
"And just how did your foot accidentallyNfind its way into Emilio's fishbowl?"
And she said, "No, no, no. Emilio wasNon the carpet when I stepped on him. "
Mmm. The plot thickens.
"And just how did EmilioNget on the carpet?"
And Mommy, you would've beenNso proud of her.
She didn't lie.
She said she took EmilioNout of his bowl...
...and put him on the carpet.
And what was EmilioNdoing on the carpet?
Flapping.
- And then you stomped on him.N- Uh-huh.
And when you lifted up your foot...
...what was Emilio doing then?N- Nothing.
He stopped flapping, didn't he?
She told me later...
...that the second she lifted up her foot
and saw Emilio not flapping,Nshe knew what she had done.
Is that not the perfectNvisual image of life and death?
A fish flapping on the carpet,Nand a fish not flapping on the carpet.
So powerful, even a four-year-oldNwith no concept of life or death...
...knew what it meant.
- You loved Emilio, didn't you?N- Uh-huh.
Well... I love Mommy, too.
But I did to MommyNwhat you did to Emilio.
- You stomped on Mommy?N- Worse.
I shot Mommy.
Not pretend shootingNlike we were just doing.
I shot her for real.
Why? Did you want to seeNwhat would happen?
No, I knew what would happenNto Mommy if I shot her.
What I didn't know was, when I shotNMommy, what would happen to me.
- What happened?N- I was very sad.
And that's when I learned...
...some things, once you do,Nthey can never be undone.
- What happened to Mommy?N- Why don't you ask Mommy?
You OK, Mommy?NDid it hurt?
No, sweetie.
Doesn't hurt anymore.
Did it make you sick?
No. It made me sleep.
That's why I haven't been with you, B.B.NI've been asleep.
But you're awake now, Mommy. Right?
I'm wide awake, pretty girl.
B.B., would you like Mommy to watchNa video with you before sleepy time?
Uh-huh.
Mommy, do you wanna watchNa video with me before sleepy time?
Oh, yeah!NI would love to.
- Which one do you wanna watch?N- Shogun Assassin.
No, B.B.NShogun Assassin is too long.
- Mnh-mnh.N- No, it's not.
Well, then, I'll leave you ladies to it.
When I was little,Nmy father was famous.
He was the greatest samuraiNin the empire.
And he was the shogun's decapitator.
He cut off the heads of 131 lords.
My father would come home to MotherNand when he would see her,
he would forget about the killings.
He wasn't scared of the shogun,Nbut the shogun was scared of him.
Maybe that was the problem.
One night, the shogun sent...
My man got a heart
Like the rock that's in the sea
Well, no one told me about her
The way she lied
Well, no one told me about her
How many people cried
My man got a heart
Like the rock that's in the sea
My man got a heart
Like the rock that's in the sea
Well, no one told me about her
The way she lied
Well, no one told me about her
How many people cried
But it's too late to say you're sorry
How would I know?
Why should I care?
Please don't bother trying to find her
She's not there
I was just admiring your sword.
Quite a piece of work.
Speaking of which, how is Hanzo-san?
He's good.
Has his sushi gotten any better?
You know, I couldn't believe it.NYou got him to make you a sword.
It was easy.NI just dropped your name, Bill.
That'd do it.
Well, no one told me about her
I suppose the idea is we crossNHanzo swords. Am I right?
Well,
it just so happens this haciendaNhas its own private beach.
And that private beach just so happensNto look particularly beautiful
bathed in moonlight.
And there just so happens to beNa full moon out tonight.
So, swordfighter, if you wantNa swordfight, that's where I suggest.
But if you wanna be old school about it...
...and you knowNI'm all about old school...
...then we could wait until dawnNand slice each other up at sunrise
like a couple of real-life honest...
Now, if you don't settle down, I'm gonnaNhave to put one in your kneecap.
And I hear tell that'sNa very painful place to get shot in.
I'm just fuckin' with you.
Now...
...when it comes to you...
...and us...
...I have a few unanswered questions.
So, before this tale of bloody revengeNreaches its climax,
I'm gonna ask you some questions,Nand I want you to tell me the truth.
However, therein lies a dilemma.
Because when it comesNto the subject of me,
I believe you are truly and utterlyNincapable of telling the truth.
Especially to me.NAnd least of all, to yourself.
And when it comes to the subject of me,
I am truly and utterly incapableNof believing anything you say.
How do you supposeNwe solve this dilemma?
Well,
it just so happens,
I have a solution.
- Aah!N- Gotcha!
Goddamn!
What the fuckNdid you just shoot me with?
My greatest invention.NOr at least my favorite.
Don't touch it, or I'll stick another oneNright in your cheek.
What lies within that dart, just beggingNto course its way through your veins...
...is an incredibly potentNand quite infallible truth serum.
I call it "The Undisputed Truth. "
Twice as strong as sodium pentothal,Nwith no druggie aftereffects.
Except for a slight wave of euphoria.NYou feel it?
- Euphoria?N- Yeah.
- No.N- Too bad.
As you know...
...I'm quite keen on comic books.
Especially the ones about superheroes.
I find the whole mythologyNsurrounding superheroes fascinating.
Take my favorite superhero, Superman.
Not a great comic book.NNot particularly well-drawn.
Mmm.
But the mythology...
The mythology is not only great,Nit's unique.
How long does this shit takeNto go into effect?
About two minutes. Just long enoughNfor me to finish my point.
Now, a staple of the superheroNmythology is,
there's the superheroNand there's the alter ego.
Batman is actually Bruce Wayne,NSpider-Man is actually Peter Parker.
When that character wakes upNin the morning, he's Peter Parker.
He has to put on a costumeNto become Spider-Man.
And it is in that characteristicNSuperman stands alone.
Superman didn't become Superman.
Superman was born Superman.
When Superman wakes upNin the morning, he's Superman.
His alter ego is Clark Kent.
His outfit with the big red "S" -
that's the blanket he was wrapped inNas a baby when the Kents found him.
Those are his clothes.
What Kent wears - the glasses,Nthe business suit - that's the costume.
That's the costume Superman wearsNto blend in with us.
Clark Kent is how Superman views us.
And what are the characteristicsNof Clark Kent?
He's weak...
...he's unsure of himself...
...he's a coward.
Clark Kent is Superman's critiqueNon the whole human race.
Sorta like Beatrix KiddoNand Mrs. Tommy Plimpton.
Aso.
The point emerges.
You would've worn the costumeNof Arlene Plimpton.
But you were born Beatrix Kiddo.
And every morning when you woke up,Nyou'd still be Beatrix Kiddo.
Oh, you can... take the needle out.
Are you calling me a superhero?
I'm calling you a killer.
A natural born killer.
You always have been,Nand you always will be.
Moving to El Paso...
...working in a used record store...
...goin' to the movies with Tommy...
...clipping coupons.
That's you...
...trying to disguise yourselfNas a worker bee.
That's you tryin' to blend in with the hive.
But you're not a worker bee.
You're a renegade killer bee.
And no matter how much beer you drankNor barbecue you ate
or how fat your ass got,
nothing in the worldNwould ever change that.
First question:
Did you really think your life in El PasoNwas gonna work?
No!
But I would've had B.B.!
Don't get me wrong.
I think you would have beenNa wonderful mother.
But you are a killer.
All those people you killed to get to me...
...felt damn good, didn't they?
Yes.
Every single one of them?
Yes.
That was the warmup round.
Now comes the $64,000 question.
Why did you run awayNfrom me with my baby?
Do you remember the last assignmentNyou sent me on?
Of course.
Lisa Wong.
The morning I left, I was sick.
On the plane, I threw up.
So I started thinking:
Maybe I was pregnant.
"Easy to use. Remove cap and urinateNon the absorbent end for five seconds.
"Accurate results in only 90 seconds.
You can read the results as soon asNthe line appears in the window. "
Fuck.
What I didn't know...
...was that somewhere on my journeyNI had been spotted.
With me in L.A., it didn't take Lisa WongNlong to send an assassin of her own.
Hello, can I help you?
Hello, I'm Karen Kim.NI'm the hospitality manager of the hotel.
I have a welcome giftNfrom the management.
Oh, that's nice. Um...
Can you just leave it by the door?
- You pretty good with that shotgun?N- Not that I have to be at this range,
but I'm a fuckin' surgeonNwith this shotgun.
Well, guess what, bitch?NI'm better than Annie Oakley.
- And I got you right in my sight.N- I could blow your fuckin' head off.
Not before I put oneNright between your eyes, so let's talk.
Karen...
...I just found out...
...right now...
...not a moment beforeNyou blew a hole through the door...
...that I'm pregnant.N- What is this?
On the floor by the door...
...is a strip that says I'm pregnant.
Bullshit.
Any other timeNyou'd be 100 percent right.
This time...
...you're 100 percent wrong.
I'm the deadliest woman in the world.
But right now...
...I'm just scared shitless for my baby.
Please.
Just look at the strip.
Please.
Stay where you are and don't move.
I don't know what this fuckin' shit means.
The box with the directions -Nit's right there.
"Easy to use.
Remove the cap and urinateNon the absorbent end. "
Blue means pregnant.
I'll read it myself, thank you.
Oh, OK.
Say I were to believe you.NWhat then?
Just go home.
I'll do the same.
Congratulations.
Before that strip turned blue...
...I was a woman, I was your woman.
I was a killer who killed for you.
Before that strip turned blue,NI would've jumped a motorcycle
onto a speeding train.
For you.
But once that strip turned blue...
...I could no longer doNany of those things.
Not anymore.
Because I was gonna be a mother.
Can you understand that?
Yes.
But why didn't you...
...tell me then, instead of now?
Once you knew, you'd claim her.
And I didn't want that.
Not your decision to make.
Yes.
But it's the right decision,Nand I made it for my daughter.
She deserved to be bornNwith a clean slate.
But with you...
...she would've been bornNinto a world she shouldn't have.
I had to choose.
I chose her.
You know, five years ago,
if I had to make a list of impossibleNthings that could never happen,
you performing a coup de grâce on meNby bustin' a cap in my crown...
...would've been rightNat the top of the list.
I'd have been wrong, wouldn't I?
I- I'm sorry.
Was that a question?
Of impossible thingsNthat could never happen -
yes, in this instance,Nyou would've been wrong.
Well?
When you never came back,
I naturally assumed Lisa Wong,Nor somebody else, had killed you.
Oh! And for the record...
...letting somebody think somebodyNthey love is dead when they're not
is quite cruel.
I mourned you for three months.
And in the third month of mourning you...
...I tracked you down.
I wasn't tryin' to track you down.
I was tryin' to track downNthe fucking assholes I thought killed you.
So I find you...
...and what do I find?
Not only are you not dead...
...you're getting marriedNto some fucking jerk.
And you're pregnant.
I overreacted.
You overreacted?NIs that your explanation?
I didn't say I was gonna explain myself.
I said I was gonna tell you the truth.
But if that's too cryptic, let's get literal.
I'm a killer.
I'm a murdering bastard.NYou know that.
And there are consequences...
...to breaking the heartNof a murdering bastard.
You experienced some of them.
Was my reaction really that surprising?
Yes. It was.
Could you do what you did?
Of course you could.
But I never thought you would,Nor could, do that to me.
I'm really sorry, Kiddo...
...but you thought wrong.
You and I have unfinished business.
Baby... you ain't kiddin'.
Pai Mei taught you the Five-Point-PalmNExploding-Heart Technique?
'Course he did.
Why didn't you tell me?
I don't know.
Because I'm...
...a bad person.
No.
You're not a bad person.
You're a terrific person.
You're my favorite person.
But every once in a while...
...you can be a real cunt.
How do I look?
You look ready.
Well, well, well.NIf it ain't the little flower.
Good evening, Mr. And Mrs.NAmerica and all the ships at sea.
Let's go to press. Flash.
Do you have a magpie in your home?
If you do, you are most fortunate.
The magpie is the mostNcharming bird in all the world.
He is the best friend a farmer ever had.
Treat him gently.NTreat him kindly.
And always remember,Nthe magpie deserves your respect.
Thank you.
Thank you.NThank you.